Well I have been working diligently to finish this site, and it is almost there, I am just finishing up the user stuff. I just thought I’d take a quick moment to post my Max Payne movie review, since it is never gonna get posted on the site I wrote it for (not my fault, nothing is getting posted there), so here it is:

Wasted Potential and Poor Decisions Plague Max Payne
Movie Review – Max Payne

As a gamer I am continually getting my hopes up for the numerous game to movie adaptations being made these days; sadly I am also being continually let down, and Max Payne is no exception. Max Payne is about a New York detective seeking revenge for the murder of his wife and child; a dark police drama that rarely rises up to the lofty expectations of gamers everywhere. Now please allow me this moment to state that I am not the type of fanatical gaming zealot that thinks if you are going to grace us with a movie adaptation it should not stray a single hair from the source material, in fact I think most games have awful stories that are only there as an excuse to facilitate gameplay. The problem is that Max Payne (the videogame) was a shining example of how to mix atmosphere, story and gameplay to create a truly unique experience, and the story was actually pretty awesome. I’m not saying a movie entirely about diving down hallways, shooting guns in slow-motion would be good (although those are the high points here), but there was plenty of source material to pull from and the movie seemed much too fixated on one piece of the puzzle. Combine this with poor dialogue, bad casting choices and incomprehensible plot twists, and you have a recipe for disaster.

The movie opens on our hero (the one and only Max Payne) struggling in an icy river, trying to keep his head above water and eventually being sucked down into the river; the whole time narrating the experience in a low, brooding voice, spouting lines like “this river has an army of bodies…” This sets the tone for the rest of the film, a dark film-noir feel mixed with the comic book style made so popular by movies like Sin City and 300. In this the film succeeds admirably and manages to create some striking imagery—from the dark menace of a back alley, to the dingy creepiness of a run-down bar. The snow-covered New York setting is used well here, and comes off as more menacing than most of the villains.

The actors are trying their best here, but to little avail. In general the acting is average at best and awful at worst. Some odd casting choices stick out like sore thumbs—Nelly Furtado’s scene was completely disposable—while other choices are just bad—Ludacris as detective Jim Bravura fails miserably in this role. Mila Kunis does her best, but it seems that her character (Mona Sax) was only included to appease the fans of the game. Mark Wahlberg does some of his best work when portraying a desperate man thrown into desperate situations, which is what Max should have been, but here he is wasted on an emotionless sad-sack who spends the whole movie pining over his dead wife. When he finally lets loose and goes seeking sweet, bloody vengeance is when the movie truly hits its stride. Unfortunately this happens about sixty minutes too late to save the film.

Max Payne meanders along for the first hour or so, wasting time setting up an inconsequential (and some would say incomprehensible) plot, only to let rip at the end and finally give fans what they’ve been waiting for. Max spends the majority of the movie trying to find out who killed his wife, stopping to argue with various members of the police force and be accused of killing his ex-partner (Donal Logue looking like a homeless dude but playing a detective… bizarre) along the way. After endless scenes of dialogue in the rain and tense stare-downs we finally get a glimpse of the action when Max gets caught in a gun-fight with a SWAT team in an office building. Unfortunately the action doesn’t last long and we’re treated to more pointless dialogue shortly thereafter. When Max finally learns the identity of his wife’s killer the movie picks up the pace and the bullets start flying. Mad as hell, and tweaking on some insane drugs, Max goes on a rampage, shooting everyone who gets in his way in a glorious hail of bullets and drug-induced pain-resistance. Watching the action unfold is as gratifying as it is frustrating, because our eyes are opened to just how amazing this film could have been. Too bad it ends minutes later and fails to tie up most of the loose ends.

Overall Max Payne is a movie of “should haves” and “could haves”, leaving the viewer wanting more, but at the same time probably regretting that ticket purchase. Where Max should have been a desperate man fighting for his life and stuck in desperate situations, we instead get a fairly tame guy who is eventually pushed to the breaking point (though not soon enough). Where there could have been a more compelling story we get an overwrought plot and useless twists. Where there should have been a casting director we get musicians and B-list television stars. Being shackled to a PG-13 rating probably hasn’t helped this movie (considering the source material involved such controversial topics as baby murder) but there is a tonne of wasted potential here and it reeks of rushed film-making… sad considering this has been in-development since 2002.

Max Payne
Directed by John Moore
Written by Beau Thorne
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis
Rating: 1/5 Stars

UPDATE: Huzzah! My review is posted! Not to mention butchered in the editing room! Seriously, I get some of the changes they made, but my wordplay was deliberate and snazzy, they seem to have dumbed it down for a more general audience. wtf? This is a university publication I’m writing for here, I think they could have handled a little more. Anyways the review is also here as well. Compare and contrast!